Life Isn’t Something That Just Happens, It’s Something You Create

Realizing You Control Your Life

It was only after I long finished high school and started university that I found that life doesn’t just happen, it is CREATED. Yes, things happen, but you have a huge hand in how your life turns out. Up until that point, I thought success or failure was mostly luck or circumstance. But once I started to truly reflect on my choices, my habits, and my priorities, I realized that the only way to live deliberately was to treat life like something you actively construct, not passively endure.

The Dilemma: When Passion Becomes Pressure

I had a dilemma. I had a huge vision for a business idea I had. I was so invested in it that I ignored everything else I had to do. I had spent so much time on it, researching, looking at what’s out there, thinking, perfecting the idea (there’s no such thing). I was HUSTLING all the time. I didn’t feel good when I had free time and didn’t spend it on my business. I felt angry when I had to do a task for university, so I put in the absolute minimum effort. My business idea was taking over both me and my university life.

I had one year left to graduate, and, of course, I was terrified of 9-5 job life. I was rushing because I wanted to reach my goal before I even graduated. I read countless books on the topic, binge-watched videos on YouTube, and tried everything I could find. But despite all of that, I realized I was struggling to set priorities. I was mad when I went out with friends, not because I didn’t want to hang out, but because I felt stressed that I HAD to be working on my business idea. I FaceTimed my family and made quick calls rather than chit-chatting, because I was rushing. I was rushing and rushing, and I realized I was failing at university.

Why Time Management Alone Doesn’t Work

No time management tool out there helped me. I had too many ideas and too many things I wanted to do, so many that I felt constantly under stress. I kept asking myself: How the heck can I do all of that together? Is it even possible???

Here’s a truth many people don’t like: Yes, it is possible. People often say, “When you focus on too many things, you end up doing nothing,” or “Focus on one thing only,” or “Leave university and start your own business.” I disagree. Why? Because of school.

Yes, school!

Think about it: we had many subjects at school, and yet, we STILL could do very well in many of them, or even all of them. We all knew a few classmates who had A+ everywhere. How could we focus on math, then biology, then history, then philosophy in a single day, and still do homework after? Isn’t that like working on multiple business ideas at once?

The reason it was possible at school: a non-negotiable system based on research on how to prepare children for the future. A clear path which was already set for us to follow.

Step 1: Decide on Your Non-Negotiable

That doesn’t mean that you just set up a system and follow it blindly. Before that, something needs to happen: decide on what you want to work on.

Let’s say you have a business idea, but university or work is taking up a lot of your time. Make a decision first. When it comes to making good decisions fast, I use the Matrix method from The Millionaire Fastlane (I recommend this as a first book for every ambitious person).

After you decide the path that has the most positive outcomes, you have your non-negotiable. For me, it was that I couldn’t afford dropping out of university. I listed down all factors and realized the non-negotiable was: stay in and work on the business at the same time.

Here’s a truly valuable tip: write your non-negotiable down in a very detailed way. Don’t just say, “I’ll focus on my business.” Write out the exact actions, time blocks, and boundaries you need to enforce. A written, crystal-clear statement is what transforms an abstract goal into an obligation.

Step 2: Set Up Your System

Only after having your non-negotiable goal can you set up a system. And the way to do this is exactly like school. There’s proof in the method itself: school shows that it is possible to focus on different things all at once. At school, it’s a non-negotiable that you will write exams, attend classes at 8 a.m., and complete homework. You followed it because you had no choice, you were obligated.

To create that same obligation for yourself now, you need two things:

1. A non-negotiable goal written clearly in front of you.

2. A system built around small, repeatable habits that enforce that goal without constant motivation.

Motivation is unreliable. Systems are not. I learned the hard way that relying on willpower alone leads to burnout and inconsistency. A simple system might be: 2 hours of university work, 2 hours on business, 1-hour review of priorities, and 30 minutes of reflection. Repeat every day, and adjust only when your non-negotiable requires it.

Step 3: Turn Your Non-Negotiable into a Daily Obligation

How do you become obligated? When your non-negotiable is written crystal clear on paper in front of you, it’s more than enough to turn it into an obligation.

Why do we need the non-negotiable? It’s a constant reminder for when it’s hard to stick to the system. When you find yourself distracted, thinking of irrelevant things, or doubting your choices, go back to your non-negotiable goal. Ask yourself: Do I still see this as non-negotiable, or does something need to be added or clarified? If it does, adjust it immediately.

Here’s another practical tip: revisit your non-negotiable weekly and compare it with the results you’re actually achieving. If your actions aren’t lining up, it’s not a motivation problem, it’s a system problem. Fix the system, not yourself.

Step 4: Multi-Focus is Possible, But Only With Structure

The more non-negotiables you have, the clearer your path. The clearer your path, the less you will find yourself stressing over decisions. Multi-focus is not about doing everything randomly; it’s about building a structured way to execute multiple priorities without losing progress in any one area.

Think of it like school: focusing on math, biology, and philosophy works because each class has a clear schedule, clear expectations, and a framework that forces you to act. The same principle applies to business, studies, or life projects.

Another advanced tip: set “mini-non-negotiables” within your main goal. For example, if your main goal is building a business while finishing university, mini-non-negotiables could be: finish all readings for class before 6 p.m., respond to emails only twice a day, and dedicate one uninterrupted hour daily to product development. These mini-goals reduce decision fatigue and prevent stress from creeping in.

Step 5: Reflection and Feedback Loops

Finally, a system without reflection is like driving blindfolded. At school, exams and grades provided immediate feedback on your efforts. In business and life, you need your own feedback loops. Set regular check-ins, weekly or monthly, where you think of:

• Are my actions aligned with my non-negotiable?

• Is my system helping me, or is it creating friction?

• Am I learning and adapting, or just repeating the same mistakes?

Reflection transforms stress into insight. It’s the difference between being busy and being productive.

The Takeaway: Build Your Life Like a School System

Life isn’t something that just happens, you create it. Multi-focus is possible if you build a non-negotiable goal, set up a system, enforce obligation, and regularly reflect. Stop blaming motivation or external circumstances. Start designing a system that makes your goals inevitable.

Remember: school was proof that humans can handle multiple priorities, but it worked because it had structure, non-negotiables, and feedback. Now, you just need to take that same principle and apply it to your life consciously. Build your non-negotiable, set up your system, and commit.

You can do this. And if you follow these steps seriously, not superficially, you won’t just survive university or business; you’ll thrive.

Discipline Can Be Kind

And here’s the thing, pretty lady, life might sound strict when you hear about non-negotiables and systems, but it doesn’t have to be rigid. You don’t need to follow some 8-10 a.m. “work-on-school” rule. Your two hours of focus can happen whenever it feels right for you. You can move it, divide it, bend it to your rhythm. Give yourself permission to be soft, to be forgiving when things don’t go perfectly. Remember, creating your life is about structure and flow, discipline and flexibility can coexist beautifully. If you want more tips on exactly how to find time for everything without burning out, I dive deeper into this in my other blog, "How to find time for everything", check it out!