Becoming THAT Girl: How to Cultivate Confidence, Self-Love, and Effortless Glow

1. The Root of Becoming THAT Girl

Before anything, I will always tell you to check my number one blog, which is the base of literally anything. Once you read it, you will know why it's the root.

Once we have the roots, we can grow ourselves. It does NOT and will NOT happen if you don't start loving yourself now and forgiving your past self.

2. Who THAT Girl Truly Is

What is THAT girl like? She is the calm girl who knows she doesn't need to be loud to gain everybody's attention or affection. She has enough of that. She is the girl who, when she says she is going to do something, gets it done. She is that girl who always looks effortlessly put together. She is that girl who seems to have everything in life going her way, that "lucky" girl. I will tell you in a bit how this has nothing to do with luck. She is that girl who has her priorities straight, the girl who's kind to everyone but knows when and how to set boundaries. She is the type of girl who isn't afraid of setting boundaries, even if that means she would lose people. She knows that her boundaries are an act of self-love.

She is that girl who’s smiling a lot. That girl who's humble and appreciative and notices small things. She is that girl who's glowing; her eyes have this certain glaze, and she attracts people to her. She has this charisma, this charm, that a person with no self-love just doesn't have.

3. The Identity You Step Into

Notice all these personality traits? It's a whole identity. A whole package of positive personality traits. You cannot become that girl if you have hate toward yourself. It all starts right there. You have to take this identity and make it yours. You ARE that girl who's disciplined. You ARE that girl who cares about what she eats. You ARE that girl who knows how to get her shit together. You ARE that girl who takes care of her body. You ARE that girl who's happy and appreciative.

Imagine this:

Days, weeks, months, years go by where you do not speak badly about yourself. Days, weeks, months, years go by where you are your own best friend. Days, weeks, months, years go by where you don't put yourself down.

Does this sound good? The real question is, does it sound possible?

4. The Inner Work

What if I told you it absolutely is 100% possible? Because I'm there, and I'm saying it in the most humble way possible because I know how you are feeling and I deeply want to help the best I can. I cry sometimes because I wish people could feel the way I feel; it's a level of peace that's so joyful it brings me tears many mornings (mornings are my fave part of the day).

It needs deep personal healing. I'm not saying heal all your trauma. I think we all have at least a thing or two that we’ve experienced that, when we think of, we get anxious and maybe cry. I'm talking about our personality traits. If you view yourself objectively, see the traits you have that you like and dislike, and you start working on those you dislike.

But please, before anything, ask yourself: do I want to change this for my own self, or is it because I want to fit in?

You do not have to force traits just to fit in certain groups of people. So go deep within you and figure out why you want to change this specific thing.

5. Healing, Accountability, and Self-Love

THAT girl is all about being able to love yourself fully and forgiving yourself but also being accountable and always wanting to be better. Always wanting to be better. That's the key.

You don't become better when you constantly put yourself down, talk badly about your nose, your body, any of your insecurities. Be accepting of them.

THAT girl has her priorities straight. Her first priority is her own self. Not in a selfish way at all. But the truth is: you cannot give genuine love to others if you don't have that for yourself. And it shows.

6. The Psychological Side of Leveling Up

THAT girl has love for life. She is grateful for what she has and what she can sense; she sees opportunities everywhere. She handles rejection very well because every rejection is a redirection. She does not fear not belonging around certain people; she does not act as if she belongs, because she knows herself more than anyone else knows her. She has a whole history, many experiences that shaped her. She does not fear being alone. Because even when she is alone, she does not feel lonely.

That's all psychological.

Now let's be more practical.

7. The Practical Side of Becoming THAT Girl

THAT girl has a routine that's non-negotiable. No matter what happens, certain things need to be done. For example, she will always wash her face every morning and night; she will always be soft on her skin and not pick on new pimples that pop up out of nowhere.

THAT girl has her non-negotiable that she needs to drink enough water throughout the day. She is always hydrated, always carrying her water bottle everywhere she goes.

THAT girl puts great importance on sleep. Good quality sleep without scrolling before bed or scrolling as soon as she wakes up. She takes that as a huge chance and perfect timing to finally rest and let all thoughts from the day go away. It's a perfect opportunity to restart. We don't perform well when we don't get enough quality sleep. Quality sleep might be short. Sleeping for a long time does not mean it was quality sleep. Sleeping for a short time does not mean it was bad sleep. It's about consciously believing, “I'm going to rest every single part of my body and let it have the absolute rest it needs,” and going to sleep.

THAT girl makes sure to get her exercise in, in any form she wants. She knows how valuable it is to have a healthy body. A healthy body and healthy mind go together. No one can expect people who eat fast food 24/7 to be genuinely happy. That's just against the rules of nature.

THAT girl always smells clean. Why? Because she takes good care of her hygiene. She always brushes her teeth (duh). She regularly checks in at the dentist’s. She showers and uses good products on her skin. She uses scents SHE likes. It doesn't matter if she is staying home or going out, she will always have moisturizer on her skin, and her skin feels so soft all the time. You shake her hand and go, “Wow, how is it this soft?”

She takes care of her hair. This doesn't mean she doesn't dye it; she just tries to keep it as healthy as possible while still experimenting with it. She does not go out with greasy hair. Oh, you will never see her with greasy hair. She washes her hair when it needs to be washed, and on greasy hair days you won't notice it's greasy because she has it in a certain hairstyle, maybe a slick-back. And boom. She looks, yet again, so put together.

THAT girl knows what clothes fit her and what clothes don't. She doesn't try to be trendy. If she likes a piece, she gets it. Every "basic" outfit of hers is carefully chosen. Her outfits look comfy and stylish and chic, and yet again, they look effortless.

Being THAT girl is noticeable. She is the calm girl that everyone will eventually hear about, how she has her priorities straight, she always looks good, always smells good, looks effortlessly good.

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